


Becoming Light Itself

by AlexandriaAndrews



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga), Code Name: Sailor V
Genre: F/M, Team Opulence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 20:14:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11858868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexandriaAndrews/pseuds/AlexandriaAndrews
Summary: Minako wakes up one morning after her final battle with Adonis to find she's now sharing her body with the spirit of her past life.  So, how does one navigate life with two people controlling one body?





	Becoming Light Itself

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Cosmic Love](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11764296) by [MinakosAino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinakosAino/pseuds/MinakosAino). 



> This story is based off the playlist Cosmic Love by littlegirlmadeof. The playlist definitely has its own narrative thread, and it is quite a journey. For this piece, I chose to work more with the mood of the playlist. A little melancholic and sweet with hints of utter tragedy, yet with some uplifting, romantic moments. Thank you to littlegirlmadeof and my beta readers for the wonderful playlist and all their help!

 

The thing that disturbed her the most when she awoke the next day was her hands. They looked like a normal, innocent, thirteen year old’s hands, but they were murderer’s hands, and though clean, she could still see the spots of black that had oozed out of Ace’s glove. The same glove that now sat empty on her window sill where she had dropped it coming in last night. Minako squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her palms into them. When she realized what she was doing, she drew them away in horror.

These hands were no longer her hands. They belonged to a different, wilder, creature of  the past. One who’d raised and commanded armies, whose nails never showed the toil of hours of sword training, who’d brushed back fine tendrils of hair on sleep softened faces, who’d wielded the powers of light and metal. This creature; tall, powerful, _beautiful._  Able to bring men to their knees with a glance, with  no need of them to fulfill her. Minako didn’t believe she ever had or ever would be as haunting and graceful as the being who now shared space in her head. Ancient songs in languages she couldn’t even begin to understand. Places, sounds and smells so foreign, so _alien…_

She felt like a stranger in her own bed. The ball of fur at the base of it shifted and Artemis turned his brilliant gaze on her. A mix of sadness and pride crossed his gaze as he assessed her.

“No major injuries?”  He asked.

Minako shook her head. “Tired, but otherwise I’m fine, physically,”  she said.

She’d had this exact conversation before.  Over and over before. Just not within the past three months that she’d known Artemis. She swallowed hard and looked away.

Artemis unfurled himself and stretched, arching his back high. He hesitated before stalking up the bed and sitting square on her chest. “Look at me.”

Minako shook her head and buried her face further into her pillow.

He swatted her cheek lightly. Minako could be petulant at times, but this wasn’t petulance. He set his paw back down and waited. “Minako,” he began,  “I know last night was difficult. But he’s not, he’s not worth your worry.”

“It’s not that,” Minako mumbled. She turned to look at Artemis. “I remember. Artemis, I remember everything. I’m sad. And I’m scared. I don’t want it to happen again.”

Artemis leaned forward and licked Minako’s cheek. “It won’t happen again. You were given a second chance at life, and given the gift of foresight. Having the knowledge of your past will help you prevent making the same mistakes in the future.”

It didn’t feel like a gift. Venus’ guilt and regret bubbled to the surface of Minako’s mind, and she was in more pain than she’d ever felt in her life. The overwhelming sense of failure stabbed through her, and left her momentarily breathless.  She couldn’t look at Artemis.  It was his judgy glare that had started this whole mess. She could clearly recall those green eyes boring into her forehead until she’d landed right on top of him. If he’d just left her alone…

Artemis sighed in his catly way, half exhale, half hum. “You’ll see, Mina.” He padded off the bed, leaving Minako to rest, if she could.

 

Days passed.  While the guilt got easier, the loneliness got worse. Parts of Minako’s soul were crying out for people she didn’t know. People whose bonds with her were so entwined that it felt as if parts of her personal puzzle were missing. The fear that those parts would never be found was overwhelming. She felt weak and agitated without the strength and calming presence of Jupiter and Mercury. She felt apathetic and depressed. Mars’ passion wasn’t there to rub off on her and the lack of the absolute shining mirth of Serenity felt like a void in her soul.  Worse still, she didn’t know what her own purpose was in the puzzle. Her own personality had become so obscured that she no longer knew who—or what— she was. Instead, she soldiered on as she was told to. Find the  princess. Lead the team. Prevent the apocalypse. As you do.

There were other parts missing too. One so conflicted she didn’t understand why Venus wanted so badly to find it. That part was completion; but it was also fear, love, guilt, certain sexual feelings she’d never had in her life, and a whole bundle of anger. It seemed like a very bad, mangled puzzle piece and Minako had no idea how it would ever incorporate into the whole picture, or if it ever should. But finding it dominated almost everything else, and the fury Venus had over wanting to find it confused Minako more than any other part of her bizarre new life.  She knew exactly who it was. After all, she saw him everywhere. In the faces of Adonis and Saito. In the shadow of a tree at night, obsidian spears dangling from his earlobes. In the reflection of a ramen shop window, hands stuffed into his pressed grey trousers, looking away pensively. Grey eyes. Platinum hair. The deep rumble of a voice that echoed in her memory. Nuances and stratagems. Why was Tokyo littered with his face?  It seemed that every avenue, everywhere she turned he haunted her.  He was shadows at the edge of her vision. It dragged on for weeks turning into months, the dread that she might encounter him for real, but also the longing to do so. And if she did what would she do? What was it she wanted to do?   

Why was it such a shock, then, when she finally saw him in person? She was perched on a girder beam teetering over the abandoned warehouse. Artemis was by her side, a look of near panic on his face as he watched the events unfold; Zoisite revealing himself;  Tuxedo Mask, reeling from the attack Zoisite dealt him; the senshi running frustratingly straight into the fray. Kunzite was laughing; a manic lilt to the sound, as he cast a dark dome over the rest of the senshi, shrinking it every so often just to toy with them. When Minako was transformed, Venus overrode her sensibilities. Venus was in control when she released a powerful Crescent Beam that sliced through Zoisite’s grip. Whether or not she intended to kill him she wasn’t certain, but the force of it frightened the small part of her that was still Minako. She felt the rage of Venus bubble to the surface. All those men. It was each of their faults.  She wanted to rail against them—the men who had destroyed her life. They had killed countless innocent people; destroyed an entire civilization out of fear. They had taken Serenity from her once. She certainly wasn’t going to let them do it again.

Minako felt another surge of power simmering under her skin. Venus would destroy them all if she could. She would kill them this time, it’d be easy. They didn’t know where she was.

“V!” Artemis shouted next to her. The seconds ticking by were crucial.  If she didn’t act now they would lose the battle. Venus glanced at him, but only briefly.

The hair on her arms started to tingle, and the heat rose to her fingertips. All she had to do was just release it. All that energy would be enough to take them out. She’d done it before; it was easy back then, and Artemis was still standing next to her because of it. She wanted him to die. The agony of the sear of magic ripping through his skin. The extra feeling of betrayal, just as he’d let her suffer.  Her hand rose above her head, the index fingertip pointed outwards.

“NO!” The magic ripped through her just as Minako wrestled back control of her body. Whatever else she was, a murderer she was not. Venus may have been, but Minako would not become one again.  She pulled back just enough to slice the tops of Kunzite’s hands, forcing him to release his grip on the dome. Zoisite stumbled towards him, holding the wound in his side. Kunzite looked up to the spot where Minako had been standing before she had flattened herself against the wall, panting heavily. All she could hear was the sound of her pounding pulse in her ears. Artemis wound around her feet trying to get a glimpse of the now-free other senshi. Zoisite cried out in pain and the two disappeared. Minako slammed her eyes shut, praying they didn’t reappear right in front of her. An eerie silence filtered through the space until Tuxedo Mask collapsed to his knees. Sailor Moon cried out and raced to him.

Minako took a deep, steadying breath. It was time to go. She turned and prepared herself to jump across the room to the exit.

“You’ve exposed yourself now, Venus. You might as well go introduce yourself.”  

She didn’t like the sound of that name on Artemis’ tongue.

“Can...would you mind just calling me Mina?” she asked.

Artemis tisked. “What about your secret identity?”

“Just V, then? I feel weird when you call me that.” She looked down to the group who was beginning to cluster around Sailor Moon as Tuxedo Mask brushed Sailor Moon off and ran away.

“I’ll consider it,” Artemis said in a measured voice before he leapt off the girder onto a storage crate.  He turned to look at her. “Are you coming?”  

Minako steeled herself against the feeling of Venus’ nervousness settling deep in her stomach. Or was it her own nerves?  She nodded and leapt after Artemis.

“But who saved us?”  Jupiter asked as they got close.

Artemis nudged her. “I did!” Minako said.  

“Sailor V!”  Sailor Moon’s voice held a reverence in it.  

“That’s right!” Artemis piped up. “And not only that, but she is also the Moon Princess!”

 _What? That wasn’t in the plan._ Minako turned and stared at Artemis for a hard minute, before turning back to the questioning looks of the senshi and smiling brightly.

“It’s nice to finally meet you!” she said. Her smile only wavered slightly as the other girls, with mixed reactions, knelt for her. Part of her was far too comfortable with this. The other part balked at the lie.  And her heart absolutely broke when Sailor Moon, stars in her eyes, knelt too.  

The next month rushed by in a blur as Minako struggled to find her footing in the group. They were already so tight knit, and they absolutely idolized Usagi. Which was right, but they didn’t know that they should. Even Ami, who spent inordinate amounts of time on her mini computer deciphering the ancient language and information of the history of the Silver Millennium didn’t question it. Once the truth was revealed about Usagi being Serenity, Minako’s place in the group diminished further.  Though she was the leader, and they looked to her for advice, it was all due to the fact that she had technically been the first to awaken, and therefore had the most experience.  It was not because the others actually recognized or respected her former position. Instead, she often felt relegated to a background player, only popping up with advice when one of the others was at a loss for what to do.  The trouble was that they were incredibly capable without her. Each girl had developed her own irreplaceable spot on the team, and hers was tenuous at best.  What cemented her to them? It wasn’t friendship and it wasn’t idol worship. Duty, she decided. Duty to them all. Which was why it drove her up the wall that they had never questioned that she was the princess, and then they never questioned that she wasn’t. Not even Usagi asked why she and Artemis had lied. It was a farce she wasn’t proud of, but it had been intended to protect Serenity.  Artemis figured if anyone could handle the massive amount of evil headed their way, it was Venus and not fragile Usagi.  

To that end, Venus had been relatively quiet throughout the whole thing. At least until Luna suggested they visit the ruins of the Moon Kingdom for answers. She’d already told the group what she knew, but following Tuxedo Mask’s abduction, even Minako’s firm affirmations that yes, he’d loved her and yes, she’d loved him very intensely didn’t placate Usagi.  So,  they’d set a time and gathered to go to the Moon.

As the swirl of power flowed through them, Minako felt something slide into place for the first time. She could feel the heat from Mars’ flames warm her core, the ice from Mercury kiss her cheeks. Jolts from Jupiter made them hold hands tighter, and Sailor Moon’s love and healing protected them from any damage they might have incurred on the trip.  And there, in the corner of her mind, was the warm glow of light from her own powers. She closed her eyes when the feeling of weightlessness lifted her from the ground and opened them again when the gravity of the Moon pulled them back down. The black expanse of space was endless.  

The roaring silence assaulted Minako’s senses, and Venus’ emotions began welling in the pit of Minako’s stomach. She watched the faces of the other girls as they walked through the now destroyed courtyard. Aside from Usagi’s constant silent stream of tears, the other girls mostly featured looks of complete horror. Ami couldn’t keep her hands away from her mouth. Makoto’s furrowed brow and tight lipped reaction looked like it was masking nausea, and Rei’s crossed arms and distant gaze was a sign of her quiet fury. Minako could see the girls starting to piece together images from their previous lives.  She walked on resolutely next to Usagi, keeping watch for any surprises.

A single cracked tile was the only indication that there had ever even been a courtyard here and even that was mostly obscured by a fine layer of moon dust. Minako felt the tears pooling in the corners of her eyes, but she kept her mouth firmly shut. They were here for Usagi.  She needed to hear the truth from someone else, not Minako’s haphazard explanation of what had happened in the past, especially since Luna couldn’t fill in the blanks.  The ruins became more tangible the further they walked; columns and arches long crumbling, empty windows where brilliant colored glass once filled the panes. Near the inner sanctum, Minako stepped on something metal. The crunch under her boot made her wince. She looked down to find a golden comb half buried, with pearl and gemstone adornments. She knelt down to pick it up, and when her fingers brushed the fine metal she was jolted in place by a memory.

_He had given it to her wrapped in a fine silk slipped into her hand while they’d passed each other in the hallway, escorting their lieges.  She nodded subtly and continued walking with Serenity, ushering the princess to another state meeting she had no interest in attending. Serenity’s head craned behind her as she watched Kunzite and Endymion walk away. Venus wanted to snap at Serenity, to tell her to have some decorum. Instead she tugged on Serenity’s hand to get her attention. The gift seared in her hand, and she couldn’t wait until she had a minute alone to open it._

_The delicate golden filigree formed flowers and shapes as it wove around gemstones and pearls.  He’d never shown her the same sort of courtly affection he had displayed toward other courtiers, and the gift surprised her.  She wouldn’t call his nature gregarious around other women in public, but it was certainly different from the cool indifference he bestowed upon her in the daylight hours. Just knowing he had thought to give it to her sent a rush of heat to her loins. A token such as this was a bold move for him.  She would wear it in her hair that very evening._

_She wore it to almost every Terran function from then on. He would smile and fondle it when they were alone.  One time she appeared in his room in Terra wearing nothing but it. In fact, she was wearing it when she stood right there, protecting Queen Serenity as she prayed.  It wasn’t Kunzite who had killed her.  He had been where he should have been— with Endymion. Instead, Venus’ murderer had been a much more insidious surprise…_

Minako blinked and looked up. No one was watching. She placed the comb inside the chest plate of her uniform, near her heart.  Venus wanted to crush it, but Minako knew she’d regret it if she did. She got up and dusted off her knees, following after the girls to where they’d found a stone sword on a pedestal.

 _Her_  sword, rather. Though, as Queen Serenity would tell them, the sword belonged to them all, it was really Venus who had wielded it in the past, and it would be she who did in the future. The hilt felt heavy in her hand, but she was enamored with the other-worldly glow of it, as if it had a mind of its own. It felt familiar, like an old friend she hadn’t realized she’d missed.  Though how she was going to hide it from her parents she wasn’t sure.

She was surprised at Venus’ disinterest in watching Queen Serenity’s hologram. It was as if she had heard the litany before. Over and over. Princess Serenity was precious. The Earth was evil. Or, at least it had been. Minako could still hear the Queen’s distaste in her voice.  Tragic, the whole story.  The Princess loving a man she could never have, a planet she could never set foot on.

There was little regret in the Queen’s story.  It was such a _kindness_ of Queen Serenity that she had used the last of her power to send them all to the planet she hated so much.  For a future she’d never see. With the sword that had clattered at her feet in those last few moments before the end. _“I’m sorry, Venus. You need to be with them…”_  

The sun was blinding when they returned to Earth, even though it was twilight. Kunzite was there, waiting for them.  Venus gripped the sword tighter in her hands. There was something different in his eyes.  A familiarity she hadn’t seen the first time she’d spotted him. It seemed he was surprised to see her standing there. His gaze flickered from her to Sailor Moon’s.  “If you want to see Endymion again, we’ll make a trade. The crystal for Endymion. You have two days to think it over.” He cast Venus one more pointed look then disappeared.  A stunned silence floated over the group.

They did not think it over.

Instead, they formulated a plan to sneak into the Dark Kingdom. It backfired. Beryl was waiting for them. Misguided Lady Beryl who had prayed to her, crying and wishing for Endymion, who was the one person Venus could not help her with. Beryl, whose weakness had led her to discovering Metalia, and had forged the charge against the Moon.  All this over a man who couldn’t love her.  She sneered as she attacked Sailor Moon, using her twisted  magic to strangle her. Despite her struggles, Sailor Moon was growing weaker. Beryl squeezed harder, relishing the demise of the Moon Princess.  

The sword glowed in Venus’s hands, and the tears rolled down her cheeks as she slid the sword into Beryl’s abdomen. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I have to protect Serenity.” The weight lifted off the sword in Minako’s hands as Beryl slid off. There was a crackle in the air, then buzzing. Minako lifted the blood slick sword, and felt herself transplanted back on the moon, though she’d never left the empty Tokyo street.

Queen Serenity was standing in front of her, the Pillar of Prayer glowing brightly against the inky blackness of space. “Read the method of sealing, Venus.”

Her voice caught in her throat, and her eyesight dimmed. “When this sword shines…” she began. The words tasted wrong in her mouth. She’d uttered this before, and it had gone badly.  

“Do it, Venus!” The Queen yelled.  

It was the spell of sealing. If this spell worked, Earth would be destroyed, tainted  with evil as it was. But Usagi…

She felt as if the words were being pushed out from her. “Take the Silver Crystal,

guided by the heart of she who will be Queen. Awaken the mighty power of the Moon. Offer your prayers to the Moon’s Holy Tower, so that peace will once again befall our Kingdom.”   

“Well done, Venus,” Queen Serenity said. Minako did not miss the slight hiss when her name was spoken.

Tokyo flickered back into life as Minako sunk to the ground, the sword still clasped in her hands, and she did not have the energy to give it any more thought. She heard distant voices calling her name before she welcomed the darkness that was creeping in the sides of her vision.  She felt heard Usagi screaming as she was lifted by strong arms.  If she’d been more aware she’d have fought it, but reciting the sealing spell had sapped her energy.  She felt a crackle of dark energy race through her veins, and sank under the darkness of unconsciousness again.

Two masculine voices crowded her senses when she awoke - a disagreement of some sort. Blurry images of them floated into her vision. Two men, one in a black cape, the other in a grey. They were arguing about the crystal, and why it was dormant. She needed to get it it back.  Minako tried to get up, but she felt so heavy.  

The heat of her body was being sucked out through the floor; a cold black marble. Torches lined the walls, casting strangely shaped shadows that slithered over walls.  The argument grew more heated. They had the crystal, what more did they need?

That dormant rock couldn’t enhance even a spider’s power.  

The bickering bounced back and forth until Minako heard the click of heels turn and walk away. There was a moment's pause, before the smell of the air changed to the acrid scent of fireworks, followed almost immediately by the even more gruesome scent of charred flesh. She heard Endymion laugh bitterly as he walked away.  A pink stone skittered across the floor, landing just outside Minako’s reach.

She felt so tired, her brain was fuzzy, like the static of a channel that could not be tuned right on the television.  She turned her head just enough for the stone to come into focus. She wasn’t sure why, but Venus desperately wanted that stone. Minako’s fingers twitched, and she heaved herself over, slowly stretching her hand out until she could just manage to brush the edges of it with her fingertips. Venus was breaking apart, crumbling inside the vestiges of Minako’s mind. She just needed to hold it one last time.

Through a monumental effort, Minako managed to slowly roll onto her side. It was just enough that she could grasp the stone. It was warm, almost as if it was alive. She traced the faceted edges with her thumb, then pulled it closer, cradling it against her chest. “Kunzite,” Venus breathed. Her throat hitched before she let out a sob.

This felt familiar. Life slowly draining out her. Dim echoes of battle in the distance.  She’d failed again. The weight of the dark magic was oppressive as it pushed against the force of her own magic. It squeezed breath out of her in continually shallow cycles. She could feel the throb of the magic in her veins growing weaker.

Venus felt the tug she’d always fought in the past. Princess Serenity needed her power.  She didn’t want to give it up again after she’d just gotten it back. Especially if this was for the last time.

The demand on her magic was more than Minako could sustain. A tear rolled down her face as she released her power for the Princess. If she’d known she was going to die today, she would have told her mother that she loved her. She’d have worn a nice dress so she looked like the innocent school girl her parents thought she was when they brought her body back home to them.  She clutched the stone to her chest tighter.  At least she wasn’t completely alone this time. She closed her eyes. So tired. She felt as if she was floating, her body disintegrating, becoming light itself…

Months later, Kunzite opened his eyes, struggling against his consciousness as if his mind had been long dormant.  The world looked different than he remembered. He was in a small, well lit room, nestled in a silk bed that felt as if had been made just for him. But the light in the room was odd—cast in a haze of pale pink. He nestled further into the silken bed before succumbing to the pull of sleep as it dragged him back under. He’d atone for his sins, but maybe tomorrow. For now, he needed to heal himself.


End file.
